Payback for LEO

It never fails, LEO is always under foot. No matter where I am, he can be found right under me.  It's a testament to his love, I suppose. Especially when I'm cooking, he likes to sprawl out beneath the stove, so I have to keep stepping over him. Poor thing gets stepped on a lot, mostly his toes, but lots of times it's his long basset ears. He yelps and we always feel bad. The other day, I was walking up the step from the living room to the kitchen when he got under my feet. I've gotten pretty skilled at navigating his long torso and even manage to hop over him many times; this time, I was not so lucky and I hit the floor hard. I was mad because it really hurt when my knees hit the tile, but more mad because I almost spilled my beer.  Being a good Catholic girl, I try to never take the Lord's name in vain, but inevitablty it slipped out. (Guess I better get to Confession soon) My knee started to feel better on Friday, so we decided to take a walk through the woods. This time when I fell, it really wasn't LEO's fault.  Although, he did take off running, I was doing my best to keep up with him.  It was 100% my fault, when I tripped over a prickly bush and fell right down on my knees. I thought for sure my knee was broken or at least bloody.. My jeans were so dirty and I had all I could do to dust off and pick myself back up. The kids had friends with them and I was embarrassed to have practically fallen on my face so the first thing that came to mind was to yell at LEO. I blamed him because it made sense.  After all, he was attached to the leash that I was carrying and he WAS running.  Nobody saw how it happened, and God knows anytime I've ever fallen in the past 6 years, it's been because of him. Since I'm heading to confession anyway, I may as well throw a little white lie into the mix. Maybe just this once, it was a little payback for LEO!

BURGER ENVY

2 nights ago, we were out with the kids searching for molds for melting crayons. It was an impossible mission, everywhere we went, we had no luck. To take the edge off, (or to bribe the kids to stop whining about it) we decided to drive thru McDonald's to get them icecreams. My husband is drive thru CHALLENGED, for some reason, he can't listen to what I am saying and repeat it to the speaker accurately. I have grown used to this and now I do things on purpose just to make him mess up more (mean, I know but it's really FUN) so, as he was trying to order 2 softserves one on a cone and one in a cup, I said, "Oh and can you get a double cheeseburger for LEO" (who was practically climbing out the back window inhaling all the good smells with that big basset nose of his). Well, instead of ordering the burger, my husband just glared at me, as if to say, "Yah, right, I'm gonna get the DOG a burger when I am prohibited from red meat because of cholestorol)
He must've thought I was messing around so he started to drive up to the pay window. This time I was serious, so as he was driving,  I yelled into the speaker, "and a double cheeseburger please." The kids got their icecreams and my poor meat deprived husband watched in horror as LEO polished that double cheeseburger in LITERALLY 2 gulps! I had to grab a napkin (not because he made a mess, he ate every last morsel & licked my hand clean) but to wipe the drool from my husbands chin) LEO was in doggie Heaven! He thanked me with a big wet slobbery kiss as if to say, "Who's the best basset in the world?" In hindsight I'm thinking maybe my SPOILING of this neurotic little Basset could be adding to the reasons why my husband claims to dislike him so much. This may just be a clear cut case of Jealousy :)

Caught in the Act!

I knew it all along! I have argued with my husband for years about his secret LOVE of LEO! He tells me over and over that he can't stand the dog! "The dog is a menace, he should move out, pack his bags, GET RID OF HIM, he says, take his collar off and open the door, let him run away, give him back to the basset rescue, do whatever you want with him, just get him out of my house!"These are just some of the mean and nasty things I have heard come out of my husband's mouth. I find these words so beyond OFFENSIVE. How can anyone be so mean? I always come back at him with, "I know you don't really  mean it, deep down, you really love LEO and you would be heart broken if anything ever happened to him." he just laughs and says, "Nope, I'd have clean carpets and no basset jowl stink on my pillows) At this point I usually give him a dirty look and walk out of the room. Well, the other day, I walked into the living room and CAUGHT the self professed dog loather RED HANDED giving LEO a little lovin! A sweet & generous head patting and just look at the SMILE on LEO's face. LEO is no dummy and DOGS have incredible instincts; He knows what I've known all along, Daddy can pretend, but LEO has stolen his heart too!!!

SNEAKY LITTLE BASSET

 I have been giving LEO daily doses of St.John's wort to try to treat his severe & chronic anxiety. (He's anxious about absolutely EVERYTHING) He has destroyed thousands of dollars worth of carpet by peeing all over it, but I have to laugh when I think of what the carpet cleaning man said to LEO the other day, "You're a DOG, what do YOU have to be anxious about?" Good question I thought but JUST like HUMANS, dogs get anxiety too. Poor Leo has PTSD (Post tramatic stress disorder) and we would too, if we had a shotgun pointed at our heads. His previous owner was ready to shoot him because he BARKED too much (well why was he barking you jerk? because he NEEDED love!) well thankfully a concerned brother rescued him from the man on the brink AND relinquished LEO to the Basset Rescue! I've tried a million different things to help poor LEO with his anxiety but nothing so far has worked. Currently we are doing the all natural St. John's Wort.  He is never thrilled about swallowing the pills but he always gets a treat when he does it successfully. Several times he has spit the pills back out on the kitchen floor. I have tried opening them and sprinkling into food, wrapping them in cheese, placing them way down in his throat, giving him one at a time, etc etc. it's always a struggle. Lately I have had to stand there, as much as I hate it, and hold his nose while stroking his throat. I have to watch him like a hawk and check his mouth to make sure he's not "cheeking the pills" (I feel like Nurse Wratchet on "One flew over the Cukoo's nest" Well, last night, as usual, we did the routine. He finally swallowed, I checked his mouth, pills were gone, so off he ran with his snickerdoodle (yes homemade cookies for LEO) he carried his cookie into the living room. Suddenly my daughter started yelling, "Hey, Leo spit his pills out!" I didn't believe it, I saw him swallow. That LITTLE BASSET faked me out. He pretended to swallow, yet somehow still grabbed the cookie, ran into the other room, dropped the cookie just long enough to spit the wet slimy pills on the (newly cleaned carpet) picked the cookie back up and ATE IT! followed by a BIG BASSET SMIRK!

Sunday Morning Score

Leo and my 8 yr old daughter had a battle this morning. She is no longer speaking to him. (he appears unphased) She left a 1/2 bag of donut holes on the coffee table and went upstairs for a minute. Naturally being a hound dog, he followed his NOSE. I watched him casually stroll into the living room, very nonchalent about his mission. I had no idea what he was up to.  Before anyone realized what he had done, all the donut holes were GONE and the bag was left on the floor torn to shreds. Suddenly, I heard my daughter screaming "LEO" at the top of her lungs. Leo on the other hand was already busy SNOOZING GUILT FREE on the kitchen floor. For once, my husband actually sided with LEO, as he scolded our daughter for leaving food ungaurded! It's not as if this hasn't happened a thousand times before! He congratulated LEO on his score!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAMMA!
Even though you're NOT a dog lover,

I know you love ME (from a distance)

Doggie Drool

Unseasonably gorgous and hot weather here in New England for March 23rd.  Yesterday it was in the 80's. My kids have worn shorts to school all week. Last night I decided to take Mr. Leo for a ride to get an iced coffee. He isn't a good car rider. He drools buckets and pants a lot but I hate leaving him home with his seperation anxiety so I tend to give in to the guilt and take him with me when I can. Last night's adventure was to drop the kids off at gramma's house. When we got there, I went in to say Hello and since Gramma is not a dog lover, LEO has to stay outside. He barked his everlovin head off obnoxiously for the entire 10 minutes that I was in there. Guess I don't blame him, he was tied outside but wow is he LOUD. On our way back home, I stopped for an iced coffee. I had just taken a sip when he leaned over and DROOLED two big slime puddles right on top of the cup. He really is such a little Basset sometimes! (and yes I drank it anyway, for me, it's like kid slime, I'm immune! I pretty much live my life as the human napkin anyway.